User blog:Rena the Boss/Miniview - 5.04 - "The Broken Kingdom"

Worry not, I fully intend to do a miniview for episode 5.03 as well. I didn't forget to last week, but I spent last Monday travelling and the rest of the week involved in college festivities, and in the little spare time I had I just couldn't be arsed to do it. But, for the sake of eventually rounding up the numbers regarding this arc and later on the season as a whole, I intend to review every episode. Yes, even if my enemies keep getting me banned from wikia, which is their wont. Lol don't you just hate them? :P

First and foremost, I have to discuss the one thing that bugged me the most, to no end, about this episode: its guest credits. What the fuck was that abortion?... Two young castmembers were fortunate enough to be billed with the episode's featured guests. One of them was young Guinevere, and the other one... young Kay. This is what gets me pulling out my hair. Look, I don't understand how this stuff works. Obviously it's somehow related to contractual terms. But I can't for the life of me understand how Webb Baker Hayes, who played young Arthur and actually had the most lines out of the children in that flashback sequence, managed to score only a co-star billing, and yet the two less prominent kids were guests. To the average viewer, this matters not, but we all know I'm a sucker for guest cast lists. It matters. To me. Deal with it. Can someone honestly please explain to me why or how something like this happens? It aggravates me on so many levels, really. The kid who did and said the most was a co-star, the others who weren't as prominent were guests. Young Kay is a guest star whereas the old Kay that we met in the season premiere was a co-star, and he probably had as many lines and, well, is an adult (kids are less likely than adults to be guest stars). Not to mention that the show is now featuring a recurring role in Violet, a teenager, who is also a guest star (and a wrongly billed one at that, pretty sure her last two names are hyphenated). It's also quite sad when guest actors get shared billing that bumps them down so much despite obviously deserving more. In this outing, it was MVP guest Joana Metrass, one of the characters getting the most focus, who was billed last in the shared line-up, under all the kids and Percival (did he really need to reappear?... I mean, I'm glad he did, I'd hate for him to just be in archive footage, but lol at them bringing him back for that). Perhaps it's not as big an offense as Meghan Ory's billing in 1.15 was, but still. Come on. At least Rose McIver got independent crediting in 3.03. Oh, and another thing, since I just mentioned archive footage in passing: it was rumored, while this episode was being filmed, that Abby Ross would feature as young Emma, but she was only seen in archive stuff. Soooo... how did anyone even know? Or were they referring to something else? Color me intrigued.

I honestly am so torn about this episode. As I was watching the events transpire, I was kept on the edge of my seat. Not literally, but still. The episode just kept me guessing as to who the bad guy was and where everything was headed, till the very last reveal. It truly was chock-full of twists and turns and juicy drama, just like any episode should be. But I also believe there has never been an episode so jam-packed with glaring continuity mistakes as this one was... right? Continuity has always been iffy on this show, but they've gotten by, even if it's simply by having the characters promise never to discuss this or that again in retcon-y flashbacks. But, for the love of God, tell me how flashing back to a Camelot of five years ago fit in with the show's timeline? How did anything that happened in this episode make any sense? There's just... I don't even know where to begin.

Alright, let's start with the gauntlet. Rumple getting the gauntlet is obviously supposed to tie-in with the events of 4.11. We even wanted it (or Jo did) to happen in 5.04, which is so cute, actually. But Rumple had told Belle he'd made a trip to Camelot ("Good for me, not so good for Camelot") to acquire the gauntlet, and yet he got it inside his Dark One vault. Which, that's not in Camelot, right? I mean... We had at the very least concluded it wasn't in Camelot. It was even pointed out to Jose recently, when the Apprentice told Hook Emma was in his land, he meant the Enchanted Forest, right? She showed up in that vault somewhere in the Enchanted Forest in 5.01, and at the end of that episode, after a trek that took her and Merida far away from the vault, she was then led to Camelot by Arthur and his posse. Guinevere and Lancelot themselves also went on a journey to the vault, so clearly it's not in their realm, and Camelot pretty much looks like a very small kingdom. Like, ridiculously small. So, to sum it all up, Rumple didn't actually go to Camelot. There's an error right there. Ask Adam Horowitz about it and he'll say "semantics". Maybe Rumple didn't express himself well enough to Belle. But hey, Adam, just a thought, maybe don't trifle with semantics? Actually make stuff fall into place nicely? That'd be lovely, thanks. It really grinds my gears to think that they probably pat themselves on the back with what I'm sure they think are nice little touches of continuity, by re-using magical items from episodes past, but so far this season they're definitely not knocking it out of the ballpark: from Hook's "heart-ripping potion" (?) to the fricking gauntlet, they keep screwing everything up. I wonder how they're gonna ruin the invisible chalk.

Now, on with the timeline. Five years ago... First of all, Arthur told David just two episodes ago that they spent a decade or so waiting for them to come. Now we flashed back to five years ago and in those flashbacks there's no mention of the prophesied Savior whatsoever. Oh, and get this: the previous episode's MacGuffin was a toadstool that might allow them to communicate with Merlin, who's trapped in a tree. I figured he'd been recently trapped in a tree, but it turns out he's been there ever since Arthur was a little kid, at least. And yet Merlin spoke to him from inside the tree. Told him of his prophecies. Yet, what, nowadays they don't chat anymore? Arthur didn't pay the phone bills? Or was young Arthur like those people who spoke to God and wrote the Bible and who, in this day and age, would be put in a nuthouse? And he just got lucky in the end cos hey, there totes was a sword in a stone? Also, how does yanking a sword out of a stone make someone a king? I get that Camelot was a "broken kingdom" because it didn't actually have a king. I also know that in the original tale (I think?) the prophesied king is the one who yanks the sword out of the stone, because only the one who can do it is fit to be king. As in, the one most deserving of it. Well, we've clearly seen Arthur be anything but deserving. As a matter of fact, it seems he wants to kill Merlin because yolo. Everything about this story now feels yolo. Why did Merlin foresee that Arthur would do it? Why is Arthur deserving? Was it just his quest to make Excalibur whole that drove him bananas, so he was good before that? Why does he actually care so much? I think he wants to end the Dark One's legacy and from there on out be known as the greatest King ever because he accomplished that, right? But... That's it, really. But. We are 4 episodes into this arc, 7 more to go, I don't expect to have all the answers just yet and we actually have plenty already. But this show's history is riddled with unanswered questions and yolo motives so I'm not holding my breath on this one. I now thoroughly appreciate Arthur as a villain because, hey, he's doing his job, I pretty much loathe him. He's certainly making things interesting. But, um... wot is happening?

But omg I totally digressed and I'm sorry. The point I was trying to make was in regard to the faulty timeline. Five years ago, Lancelot and Guinevere met with Rumplestiltskin inside his vault. What the hell...? Five years ago, he was walking with a cane behind the counter of his pawn shop in Storybrooke. Did the writers honestly try to set the events of these flashbacks before season 1 of the show, so that they could make them fit in with 4.11, when we first met the Queens of Darkness and the gauntlet, which was before the curse was cast? I-is that it? They set these flashbacks before the pilot, when we saw the curse being cast? DID THEY JUST TOTALLY DISREGARD 30 FUCKING YEARS OF THE CURSE?! What is happening?! The timeline was made confusing enough with Percival's tale of vengeance, but this?! They told us, they straight-up told us that Camelot is in the same realm as the Enchanted Forest, it's some sort of neighboring kingdom, like Arendelle was. It should, for no discernible logical reason, obey to the rules of a different timeline. I get that time can move differently in Wonderland or not at all in Neverland, but the timeline in Camelot should be the same as the one in Snow's kingdom, right? And, imagine this: maybe Arthur and Guinevere were young DURING the curse. They grew up while all of that was in full effect. Buuuut then how does Percival fit in? Is he actually older than Arthur? Sure don't look like he is. And how does Rumple make a cameo in his vault five years ago anyway, and then bring the gauntlet back for Belle to clean up? I... They fucked it up so bad. Joe, Jo, quit this wiki, do it now! Or, if you can honestly make sense of this, then please explain it to me, I am begging you. :( Explain it to me! I'm too dumb to understand it, that must be the problem, right? I can't keep up. It can't be that the writers fucked up. Right? David H. Goodman has been writing for the show since season 1, for Christ's sake. Jerome Schwartz started during the Frozen arc but that arc took the 30 years of the curse into consideration. They couldn't have gotten it wrong, right? ...Right? Maybe it was the fault of whoever did the captions. Maybe they didn't actually follow the script? Maybe they also fucked up the credits, they meant to make Arthur be guest and not Kay and made a mistake? That musta been it, right? Lol though... We have been calling out this show's captions for being condescending towards the viewers, as though we can't keep up with what is happening when, like we're too dumb to follow. And then it's this episode's captions that ruin everything. If we didn't have them, we might not find ourselves in this predicament. But then again, lmao, read this (found on Lily's review, in the comments): "Lily I always have to read your reviews because it's the only way I can't keep track of these storylines. I love this show for reasons I can't explain. I can explain why I should hate tho. I'm up to date with everything but I still can't keep track of everything that happens on this show. There's too much back tracking and forward tracking. This show is always jumping around and that makes it difficult for me to enjoy it. How can anyone follow a storyline when it's 5 years later, 5 years earlier 6 weeks later, 6 weeks earlier? It's just a daunting task. I think this show wants me to hate it. No matter how hard it may try to make me stop watching, I will always tune in every Sunday night." Lol. Just lol. Also lol that Lily obviously hated an episode that was kinda big on the Captain Swan stuff and had next to no Swan Queen.

Moving on: it was always hinted at us that Lancelot might be alive, that Cora might've lied. The producers and the actor hinted at that on Twitter and in interviews right after 2.03 aired. In this episode, Snow tells Charming Lancelot out-witted Cora, which, fyi, wasn't a part of their exchange of words in the previous episode, so unless they had a follow-up chat, Snow is either making shit up or just presuming it. Regardless, we have to treat it as canon information, which goes against their hints that Cora herself was lying about having killed him. Either way, you can count on this brief explanation as, well, it. That's it. S'all we're gonna get. I didn't actually expect much more than that, but it's still lolable. They hinted that Cora had lied, and yet we now learn it wasn't on her at all, Lancelot is the one who tricked her. And even if you don't take that into account, take this: it was always a known possibility that Lancelot was alive, ever since 2.03 aired. They had literally 3 years to bring back the character and prepare that return with a plausible explanation, but nope, this is it. So, where was he during the events of 2.03, when Cora was posing as a big black clone of himself? This is a recurring matter with the show, keeping all its options on the table and leaving so many doors open, which usually just leads to loads of characters being in limbo and shitty justifications for where they've been when they finally re-emerge. Should the Jabberwocky ever pop up in Storybrooke (fat chance), she's gonna say a yolo servant unpinned her from the wall, then she killed him. In a throwaway line. Which is more than we ever got for how Phillip got his soul back.

Hook referred to Merida as flame-haired scot. Wut? So, Scotland is a place in that world, huh? In that... literary world? This shouldn't come as much of a shock, since Sherwood Forest exists there and Cruella hails from a 1920s England realm, so this is just me being persnickety, but I so can't make sense of that world, where the Enchanted Forest is. I don't get it. It's been a constant headscratcher since the show's inception and we've sort of come to accept that that land somehow mirrors our own planet, but, like... Yeah, so, Scotland exists there? If so, shouldn't Rumple be from there, given his accent? Explain the vast myriad of accents and races coming together in every community, please, if that world of stories is suppose to mirror the societies of olden days that are reflected in those traditional fairytales- Communities in the yester years were hardly melting pots. I get them wanting to be inclusive and not establishing hierarchies between, say, black and white people on a family show, but in Camelot alone we have Arthur speaking with an English accent, Kay with a Canadian accent and Guinevere with a heavy Portuguese accent THAT I DON'T POSSESS!! Lol seriously. You braindead morons gave me crap for talking with a thick Portuguese accent, as if you even knew what that sounded like. Well, now you know. Anyway, if nations exist in that land the way they do in ours, and if they have such a traditional, feudal system they adhere to, how are all these people who must hail from different lands coming together? There ain't no planes there. Travelling to a far-off country by either land or sea must take years. But as Cruella would put it, who bothers with such trivial things? That itself is the motto the writers of this show live by. They don't care. Should we?

I spent the entirety of this review focusing on the negative aspects of this episode because there really were so many of them, and the irony is I actually really enjoyed it. Factual mistakes aside, it was my favorite episode so far in the season, I loved all the twists and the dramatic build-up it offered. It actually made me feel stuff. Like, worried for the characters' sake. I was invested. The affair between Lancelot and Guinevere was so toned down and forced that I didn't care at all about it, and some people are already criticizing the show for tarnishing what is apparently one of the most epic love stories ever, but I know next to nothing about the Arthurian legend so I don't really give two craps. I wanna praise Joana Metrass' performance, despite her thick accent, she's really made me like her. Guinevere now gets to be a tough villainess whilst actually having a kind heart deep down, kept away by magic, in a way that the show has never really dealt with before, and I love it, it's like we get the best of both worlds with that character. Snow and Charming were good, Captain Swan was cute, I... sorta don't get why both Emma and Regina seem to have a problem with Henry having a little crush, and since his story is heartbreaking and Violet being a stable girl felt ominous, as someone else already pointed out, maybe little bitch gets crushed too? Like, in a more literal way? I'd both love and hate that.

When I rated 4.09, I considered Anna's side story analogous to flashbacks. In this one, I'm doing Lance/Guin as flashbacks, and the Camelot of weeks ago present, along with the ending. I also won't take the timeline inconsistencies into account much, cos otherwise they'd bring the episode's score down too much and I liked the story.

Rating the Episode:
 * Flashback story: 3 out of 5 stars. It was pretty alright. Romance was meh, but Guinevere was bae and I liked the ending.
 * Present-day action: 5 out of 5 stars. It was pretty gripping stuff all around that really kept me guessing, and Captain Swan had cute moments. Loved the Merida stuff.
 * Writing: Aye. 2 out of 5 stars. Unless someone makes sense of it and I bump it. The dialogue was good.
 * Usage of cast: 4 out of 5 stars. Belle and Zelena were absent, but that's fine by me. I wanted Robin to miss it too. Had he, maybe I woulda given it 5 stars. :P Liam Garrigan and Joana Metrass did an amazing job as the week's MVP guests, carrying the story, and Ginny and Josh were fun to watch (and hear) too. So I'm basing this mostly on the acting itself than the amount of actors used.

Overall rating: 14/20. So, the season is still going steady.