User blog:Renaboss/Farewell Letter

I wanted to address the community earlier today, following the "trickery" that led to my downfall. Maybe it was justice being executed; whatever it was, it was tacky. Anyway, I am glad I waited. Earlier today I would had left you all a message of hatred and resentment, condemning you all to hell. Now, I write this with an apologetic spirit, which is only appropriate, given all that has happened and the fact that I do not want to exit in further bad terms.

I have demoted myself - again. This time not out of frustration or spite, but because clearly the time has come for me to move on. I had decided that, while I had left the chat and the community, I still wanted to edit here, I still needed this hobby. But I always, always maintained that one shouldn't stay where they are not wanted. It was nothing short of irritating how Val kept coming back even after being told a multitude of times that no one wanted her here. I was told I'm not wanted. I was told I'm replaceable. And therefore I shall go.

First of all, I want to show my appreciation for the community. 2012 was certainly not a banner year for me. It was a year of loneliness, uncertainty and boredom. You guys provided me shelter through the times when I just needed somebody to talk to, but, alas, the physical world around me provided me with no one. I made some great friends on wikia, who listened to me, who confided in me and who played around with me and showed interest in my interests. I am not without gratitude for all of that.

Second of all, the time comes for the apology. My commentaries often hurt and misled people. Sometimes I didn't have any intention of harming whatsoever, but I did so anyway, unconsciously. Other times, I meant to harm. I suppose that, as comforting as wikia always was, somehow I still always wanted an escape. It upset me to be this devoted, this dedicated to an online world. It always felt like a waste of my time. I tried to pass it off for a mere hobby, but ultimately it became an obsession, one that spiraled out of control when I started lashing out at the same people who'd once welcomed me as a result. I truly am sorry.

Not in regard to everyone, I have to add. Some people (i.e. Mary, Val, Justine) were just nasty to me for no good reason. I honestly feel as though I did not deserve their attitude. And Ali... I think you make a storm in a glass of water. I think you're... coercible. You go with the flow. Because my nastiness to you was never anything other than general frustration aimed at the community as a whole. And yet you act as though I stoned you. Get a grip, and stop being "sheep".

And other people, well, two people, Ben, and Liz... I still like both of you guys. Maybe I upset and/or annoyed you both here and there, but overall I think we always had a more stable friendship and it is with great sorrow that I leave you two. You are both true, and kind. You're better than me, and you're better than the rest. I don't say this as a means of attacking the others, it's a mere declaration of facts.

I hope for the sake of everyone that I can indeed move on, and that the community will be better off without me. I trust that it still won't be all that good. Joe will never stand up to Josh no matter how much they disagree, because he is weak and subordinate. Ali will continue sucking up to Val despite secretly loathing her. Mary will continue to resent Val's presence, and Josh, well... when you read this you are gonna laugh it off. Think of me as pathetic, sad and dellusional. You may even force yourself to think otherwise, but Josh... you're going to miss me. The community will not be the same without Renaboss, whether that's good or bad. And Lynettefan2626 will not be the same without Renaboss.

After I publish this letter, I will click the button that allows me to submit my account for deletion. I want User:Renaboss to cease to exist. The fanfiction wiki has already been sent for deletion as well. TV Aficionado shall remain because of my study wiki. I am now, through this means, severing my connection with all of you, with sadness and regret.

I beseech you not to delete this blog post. Let all the regulars read it. Don't let my "goodbye" go unnoticed, please. However, I do not wish for feedback. This letter marks the end of our connection, please respect it. Let it end.

Ben, Joe, Ali, Liz, Justine, Brad, Mary, Val, and Josh... goodbye.